Why I appreicate Mothers...

 Hey Everyone,

        I know I am not keeping my promise to keep you up to date, sorry life as of late has been absolutely crazy and I am dealing with work burn out (that is another story). 

    This post came to me because I have been really, I guess aggressive when it comes to celebrating and being thankful for our mothers. I may not be a mom yet, but I hope that someday soon I can be. I just have to be patient and ask for help from my Father in Heaven. This month is a particularly difficult month for me and has been for the longest time now. I hope that I can fix that, but time will be the one to let me know. 

    A bit of backstory, I am the oldest of 3, so I am the one who made my mom, well, a mom. She has stayed by my side for 30 years now, and I don't see that changing. She is my rock, my therapist, my chauffeur, support system, everything you can imagine she has had to do, and never once complained. I am glad that my Father in Heaven sent me to her, she has been the BIGGEST, not quite only teacher in my life. I have learned so much from her that I can't even begin to count the things that I have learned from her. I have had many "mother's" in my life I consider them my to be like my second mom. Starting with my angel Grandma Bonnie. She passed away when I was just 7 years old, but it felt like I had her so much longer then the short 7 years I did have her with me and my family on this earth. I am the oldest grandchild on that side of my family, at times I love it and other times, not so much, but that is life. It was promised that we would have the tools and supports that we need to get through this life, but I am going off track. Back to my angel Grandma's. I say Grandma's because 6 years before I was born, my mom lost her mom, due to a drunk driver. So, I never got to meet my Grandma Jeaneice, that is in this life. I believe that I have met her, just not on this earth. Thanks to my AMAZING mom, I have grown to know my Grandma Jeaneice, so much so that I hope to be a good balance between my mom and my angel Grandma's.

     My Grandma Bonnie and I were quite close, that's probably because I was the first, but certainly not the last girl (granddaughters) to be born in my family. My dad has 3 brothers and no sisters. My Grandma Bonnie had always hoped for a girl, but raised 4 boys. The strength she had, I find myself struggling to interact with little boys at work, but there are some that I bond with, so I do want a son or two, but not all boys. If I get all boys, then that's what I can handle, but I hope just like my Grandma Bonnie did, that I can blessed with a girl or two. My Grandma Bonnie passed away from cancer, at the end of this month, about 23 years ago. And about 6 years ago, her father, my Great-Grandfather, passed away the day before the anniversary of her passing. So, this month isn't the easiest month for me. I will never forget the last mother's day I had with my Grandma Bonnie. I remember making her a card, with my hand print, and my siblings hand prints on it. It was homemade. Well, my Grandma was in the hospital at this time, but that card never once left the side of her bed. And then years later, I found out just how many crafts I made and gave to her that she kept. When my Grandpa moved from the home that he shared with my Grandma Bonnie, (he got remarried to another amazing woman, more on her later in this post) as the family came together to help him pack the house. I remember very vividly, hearing my mom call my name from the basement. I came running to see what my mom needed. There at the bottom of the stairs, stood my mom holding a watercolor rainbow that I made in Kindergarten and gave to my Grandma. If I recall, my Grandma was having a difficult time, with chemo and radiation therapy, when I gave that to her. But knowing that she kept that simple handmade craft means the world to me. I do hope that I was able to bring a little light and joy to her in those dark and difficult moments in life, just like she has me.

    Okay, so even though I wasn't able to meet my Grandma Jeaneice on this earth, I have only heard stories of her. She and I have things in common, which is my connection to her. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, knowing that I share some interests and talents that my Grandma Jeaneice had. My Grandma Jeaneice loved to ride horses, she grew up on small farms when her family had the land for one. There is one story that I heard from my mom and my great-Uncle, it was when my Grandma Jeaneice decided to stand up in a saddle and her hands in the air, with her brother leading the horse around. Well, my Grandma Jeaneice being the jokester that she was, got my Great-Grandma's attention and yelled, "Look mom, no hands!" This of course alarmed my Great-Grandma but she was so used to the jokes and pranks that it didn't scare her. Grandma Jeaneice is the oldest girl in her family, but not the oldest child. She had 5 older brothers, but only 4 older boys that lived past infancy, my Grandma also has 2 sisters and 2 younger brothers, all of them were close to their sister Jeaneice. My Grandma Jeaneice was very close to her older brother Jerry. I am also very close to my little brother. It is the little things like that, that help me to feel connected to my Grandma Jeaneice, I wish I could have gotten to know her here on earth but I hope that I have the chance to meet her in heaven, that is when my time is done on this earth (which doesn't seem to be too soon and I am okay with that.)

    On to my amazing Step-Grandma's. I am so lucky to have so many mother figures in my life. Even though we aren't blood, we are definitely a forever family. As I mentioned before, I never had the chance to meet my Grandma Jeaneice, well, by the time I was born my Grandpa had already been remarried for about 5 years. So, my Grandma Sunny, is the only Grandma I got to know here on earth. She is fun, and has been the light that my Grandpa has needed in this life. She has always encouraged me to follow my dreams. She is definitely a ray of sunshine. My Grandma Sunny has brought out the best in my Grandpa, apparently so much so, that if I had ever met my Grandpa before they were married, I wouldn't know him, like I do now. My Grandpa was a stern man, but when he met Grandma Sunny, she broke him of all of that seriousness and brought out the Grandpa that I know and love. Goofy, somewhat serious, and someone I can talk to. I am definitely trying to be the best granddaughter I can be to them and my other grandparents. I will admit that I have fallen short, by not visiting as often as I could, but I am trying to be better at that. So, after we lost my Grandma Bonnie, it took my Grandpa sometime to find is wife and my Grandma Kathy. I remember how hard it was for my Grandpa to date and move on from my Grandma Bonnie, but Grandma Kathy is the ray of sunshine that my Grandpa really needed. When he met her, I knew that everything would be okay. And just like my Grandma Sunny, my Grandma Kathy has only brought out the best traits within my Grandpa. After my parents divorce it was my Grandmas that helped me through that, besides my mom and other family members. I remember after my parents had divorced my Grandma Kathy came and spent some time with me and with her she brought one of my favorite childhood books. She didn't know that at the time she gave it to. It is the book "You Are Special" by Max Lucado, I still have that book and I pull it out from time to time, when I need it the most. These are some of the strongest women, that I am lucky to have in my life. 

       I have a couple of other strong women in my life, that were at one time coworkers of mine. They both helped me to grow and push myself out of my comfort zone. When I started working in retail, years ago, I was this shy quiet, very withdrawn girl. Let's say that my coworker, turned manager wasn't going to let me continue to be shy, and quiet. She saw my potential and did whatever she could to pull me out of my shell, whether it was making announcements over the PA system or up selling products, she made sure that I could overcome anything. Let's just say, she definitely succeeded and I came out of my shell. I knew that I had some amazing support there, and when I left I was worried that I wouldn't ever have that level of support again. Boy, was I wrong! A couple of jobs later, I met another amazing woman. I don't really tell people that I suffer from anxiety and I do my best to not let it interfere with work. Well, I didn't do a really good job of hiding it one day and my lovely coworker noticed that something was off. She came to my rescue and helped me with a difficult situation and anytime after that I knew she had my back. I did confide in my coworkers that I do suffer from panic attacks, but I am kinda curious if it's actually PTSD. I only suffer in large crowds. I dunno, hopefully I can find out one of these days. Anyway, when I have told my coworkers (at any job) they are surprised that I suffer from panic attacks because once you get to know me, I can be loud, obnoxious, downright goofy and very sarcastic.

So, as you can see I am very lucky to be surrounded by the most amazing, loving, caring, compassionate, sarcastic, fun-loving women.😄